Hooray its Friday!

Cops were SWARMING this morning!  Wonder what was up.  It started with one cop, then two cops, then three and a detective car.  All four cars were going up and down the streets this morning, very ...  very.... slowly.  At one point, as I was on one streeet, then another, then another, I just gave a wave.  They don't even stop to question me.  I must look like a nutcase to them, this girl with bag of food, water container and dry towel in one arm, a flashlight in her other hand, dressed in shorts, white ankle socks, black patent leather really worn Anne Klein flats, and hospital scrub top.  At least I had my makeup on!  Something was definitely up.  Sometimes I wish they would stop me, or follow me from place to place occasionally.  I would feel safer.  As it was, knowing something was going on, I still had no fear.  I don't know if that fear gene never made it to me in the womb, or if I drank too much wine in my life that it killed the gene altogether!  The kittens from Miss B.'s house are doing great.  They are just the sweetest little kitties around.  And so playful!  Bonnie, the girl, has almost very light blue eyes!  Very pretty kitty.  Apart from not having the squinty eyes that a Siamese has, it looks just like one.  The other is a fluffball, with the biggest roundest eyes you've ever seen.  They are safe and sound, although probably a little bored being in a small bedroom, but thats ok.  They'll live with it.  At one spot where Emma and her son Rufus are, I am now able to pick up Rufus.  He is a sweet little guy.  Remember, I rescued his other two sisters, and had them adopted out right after I had little Timmy adopted.  Its funny, these kittens born outdoors, they see their mother being handled by humans, so somehow they think its ok to be touched by us also.  Thats a good thing!  Maybe I will be able to save him someday.  In the meantime, he hangs out with his fixed mommy in the hood.  I will have a better shelter for them soon.  I plan on bringing some kind of box or board for them to stay in when it gets colder, which it is now.  The sun is shining today, but supposed to rain later and the entire weekend.  Will be doing a lot of wet towel laundry!  Have a great day everyone!

“Whoever is righteous has regard for the life of his beast, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.”

Proverbs 12:10  There are so many amazing things going on around me.  Yesterday, the owner of Another Chance Rescue in Livonia stopped by my workplace and dropped off some food donations for my homeless kitties yesterday ON HER WAY to the Verona Street shelter to rescue a dog from there.  Also, I sent out an e-mail the other day about a dog who's 92 year old owner just passed away and the dog was brought to a shelter, and a friend read about it and adopted Rosie, who was as confused as a pet could be after being loved and then brought to a shelter.  AND I received a small donation from a sweet girlfriend who's son's pictures I have posted on my blog.  What a selfless act.  To give what you can to help me feed all these animals that I feed each morning.  AND I had three people step up and offer to foster FIVE cats I've rescued this past week.  These cats have a warm and comfortable place to be after having been on the streets for so long, until they can find their forever home.  AND thanks to my wonderful friends at Another Chance Pet Rescue, who have helped me out so much in the past, and are willing to allow my rescues to be shown at Petco on their Saturday adoption days.  AND, an very old friend dropped off five bales of straw for me to line my shelters for the winter for these poor animals that will suffer in the cold out there soon.  AND, after finding out about an 'artist' who took a dog from a shelter, and shot it, all on film, as an art project, and is trying to put one of his sculptures here at our Rochester Memorial Art Gallery, so much protest has gone on that they are now considering trying to get out of the contract.  http://www.13wham.com/news/local/story/shot-dog-art-film/PBWmUDnxTkmBvURPbb3P6g.cspx
Here is the update I received this morning by the girl who first asked me to post it to my friends: 

"I spoke with the director of the art gallery yesterday and he was really receptive.  He was going to a board meeting and is going to call me back today.  He's not sure what can be done since contracts have been signed, but I have a feeling they're going to do whatever is necessary to break the contract.  We have to do what we can in memory of that poor little dog that just wanted a forever home."  This dog's tail was wagging just before it was shot.  Outrageous that this man is even still around.  I just can't forgive an animal abuser, anyone that inflicts intentional pain and/or injury to an animal.  That's God's decision to forgive, not mine. 

All in all, there are some awesome people in my life, for which I am so grateful!  Thank you to all of you!  Attached is another picture I took of the babies I rescued from Miss B yesterday - they are JUST SO CUTE. 

Bonnie and Clyde

Yes, after work yesterday, I met Miss B. at her roach infested house and took the two kittens she had inside.  She had been going back there once a day to feed them, so I am glad I got them out of there.  Miss B. started to tear up when I put them in the carrier.  She has been through a lot, and I hope she can recover from this.  She told me that the women's shelter she is staying at is very nice, and that she was hoping to get a rental a few streets over from where she leaving from.  She truly is a nice lady.  I am glad I met her, and am glad I was able to help her out somewhat in her time of need.  At least I educated her on the importance of not letting out cats that are not neutered and not contributing to the already over population of these poor animals.  Bonnie and Clyde (temporary names!) are doing well.  Playful little fleabags.  I treated them with flea medicine, and have washed them.  They are so cute.  I am so thankful I was able to save two more.

Last night the heavens opened up with lots of thunder, lightening and rain.  I laid there and thought about the little ones out there, and if they are frightened.  I hope they have shelters to go to so that they can hide from that kind of storm.  Its almost as if God was on my side this morning, because as I was just buttoned up with my new rain gear (so I didn't have to ruin my $30 very much needed Tuesday cut, wash, blow dry and hair straightening!), I walked out the door at 5:20 am. and it stopped raining.  And it held off until I finished.  So I was very blessed this morning!  Thank you Jesus!  :)

Miss B.

Yesterday, I received a call on my cell phone at work from Miss B.  Now, I have not heard from Miss B in over a week, so was not as concerned as I had been a two weeks ago when she told me she had to move due to roach infestation in the house she was renting, and she didn't know what she was going to do with the two kittens I had asked her to keep in her house when I discovered them in her house after I went in to deliver a cat I had neutered for her and wanted her to keep that one in also due to her tender stitches.  The kittens were unneutered, and I told her they could get pregnant even at that young age.  So, Miss B. has kept them inside.

I met Miss B. about a month or so ago a few days after I was told by a girl who lives in the house on the corner where I had been feeding cats under a tree for about a month or so at that point.  The girl had told me that there was a woman that fed cats a few houses down, so I was anxious to meet someone who actually cared for cats in that neighborhood.  I did meet her a few days after that.  She seemed like a kind woman, but you could tell Miss B. has had a rough life.  I would say she is in her early 60s, looks a bit older than that, she has several teeth missing, and her frame is small and somewhat petite.  She had told me she she had just gotten back from Florida because her mother had passed.  I once saw her walking down another street with her cat 'Midnight Star' following her.  Miss B. told me a few weeks ago that due to roach infestation, she had to move out of her house and was staying temporarily in the Cadillac Hotel, a transient hotel in downtown Rochester.  I felt so bad for her.  She told me she was taking the bus in each day to feed the two kittens, but had to put the others out - the two girls I rescued, along with Allie, and Midnight Star.  She told me she was trying to find a temporary home for the two kittens.  I told her to keep in touch with me if she didn't have any luck.  After not hearing from her for a week I figured all was well.  When Miss B. called me yesterday, she told me she was now at the women's shelter downtown, a better place than the hotel, I am sure, and that she had to move the very next day, which is now today.  Her cats had to be gone, and she had no one to take them.  So thats now me.  I will wait for her call to tell me I can go over there and get them.  As a matter of fact, this morning as I was feeding the three cats left there under the tree, I walked past Miss B.'s house to just check it out in the dark, and heard a crie, and shined the flashlight on the open window to see one of the kittens there.  I did pick up Dawn dish detergent at the store just now because I am sure they are covered in fleas.

I have to tell you, at one point in the conversation with Miss B. yesterday, there was a pause, and then noise which I couldn't discern until I realized she was sobbing.  Can you imagine being at that point in your life, that age - being told she had to leave her house, AND her possessions due to the roach infestation - her clothes, etc.  She has nothing.  I tried to calm her, and I did, for a moment, I joked around telling her she could have my clothes, the clothes I couldn't fit into anymore, made a joke about me being a fatty and her a skinny., and I stressed to her that this was a  temporary situation for her, and that it would get better.  I told her that it couldn't get any worse than this, it could only get better.  I told her to take one day at a time, and just say her prayers, and she would get through this.  If I only had a place for her, I would move her there in a heartbeat.  I think about all the wealth in the world, and how people can spend thousands on useless things, but when there is a need for a roof over someone's head, there is no money to give.  Its just so tragic, so sad.  If anyone has anything they can give to Miss B., financial or otherwise, I am sure she would appreciate it.

Wild Weekend!

Whatta Weekend!  I rescued three kitties on Saturday morning.  All three are from the corner under the treet that I feed.  Of course I went back there and there are now four more cats.  I had believed there would be only two left but this morning there were four.  Two of the kitties I rescued are sisters.  They have both gone to a very sweet girl and her daughter for fostering.  I am attaching their pictures here.  And guess who else I rescued?  Yes, ALLIE!  Allie is now at my good friend's house being fostered.  I attach his picture here also.  All three have the sweetest dispositions.  They are starving for attention and affection from humans.  They didn't get that living outside in that very bad neighborhood they came from, the 'hood that hates and doesn't care for cats, and especially with Miss B. not living there anymore, they had no one that liked them.  If anyone is interested in taking in these sweet cuddly kitties, please let me know!

I chased away more raccoons this weekend.  One this morning wouldn't budge.  I ran into the hut shelter and just wouldn't budge.  What a brat.  So I had to move the food for the cats in front of the house, on the porch.  I wonder when the bank that owns the property will kick me out.  So far, they have mowed the lawn and didn't touch my stuff.  Must be a kind bank worker that is allowing me to keep the shelter there.  I never had a problem with raccoons like I have this year.  And talk about FAT!  They are as fat as can be!  Do they store their food like bears, so they can hibernate for the winter?  And someone told me they are nocturnal also.  So at some spots, I've moved their food bowls into the light under the lampposts.  I noticed there was still food left in one bowl, so that might have worked!  I also moved a hut shelter from Wilbert's property, to Seventh Street.  We will try this again. The last shelter I had there someone completely destroyed.  But so far, no one has bothered my stuff.  Its almost like they know I won't go away, so why bother to destroy the shelters!  At Wilbert's property, the man who owns the auto shop building that the boards were leaning against wanted me OUT.  I've been feeding there for years.  What I've been feeding is questionable, but I do know I fed a large number of ferals at one point when I first started.  Then it seemed I was feeding other critters, due to the dirtyness of the water and bowls.   So less than a month ago, this man took it upon himself to move my stuff, as if to say, no more feeding.  I moved it back all by myself the next morning, in the rain, and let me tell you those things were heavy.  I don't know how I did it but when it comes to the animals, I have the strength of Hercules when push comes to shove!  I then went to pay a visit to the man on a lunch hour one day, and he won.  I was very intimidated by him, and he convinced me that I was just feeding racoons and rats.  What could I say.  The conversation was intense, and at one point I cried, knowing I was going to be starving something at some point.  But I had to move on, and thats what I've done.  Do I feel bad about it, yes.  I figure that there will be larger battles to fight soon enough. 

Part Two

This is the post I meant to write, but felt the need to write what I did on the earlier post this morning.

This morning was CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY.  At my third spot, I chased off a raccoon.  Two spots later, I went around the house to where I feed, where Teddy used to be, which by the way I have not seen him in over a month or so now, and I looked into the igloo dog house I have back there filled with straw, which I have rescued two sets of kittens in the past, were two tiny kittens, the same ones I caught a glimpse of the other day that I wrote about.  They were huddled together, eyes closed shut.  I believe it is due to infection.  I did not have my carrier, which I do bring along usually, but I had taken it out because I like to have my - USED TO BE - 'luxury' car looking like I am not a cat lady occasionally.  As it is, I have a ton of towels in my backseat floor, and if you look close enough on the carpet, you will see dirt and cat food scattered, and if you open up the trunk, you will see it stuffed with towels and blankets, and small pieces of wood, and a small bag of cat food - I can guarantee you my next purchase will be an SUV, and I won't care at that point how my car looks to my boss, who is very easy on the eye, looks into my car as he passes it on his way into the office, because the carrier or trap will be in my backseat!  But I didnt' have it this morning, so had to get home for it, and when I returned, the kittens had run off.  I will try again tomorrow for them.  I pray they are in the hut when I get there.  I will grab them then, for sure!  As I was leaving there, I spotted a pit bull strolling around Central Park, loose.  I pulled over and started to call him over.  After a brief time, and a call to 911, I deduced that the dog was non-agressive, a sweet unneutered huge male, who was licking my hand as I placed down water in a bowl for him.  The cops couldnt' do anything, again, due to it being non-agressive, and animal control would have to come out when they start their shift to deal with it, if they even do when they get calls like this.  Poor baby.  I tried to get him into my backseat, but short of pushing him in, I wasn't going to push it!  :)  This is a picture of what he looked like, minus the mouth open.  Massive head!Next couple of stops later, sure enough, there was the kitty on the roof that had been there the day before!  Will ask a friend who works for city who owns the house and try to get a number.  There are people living there, but from the upkeep of the house, I don't feel too comfortable knocking on their door at 6 am.  Poor baby.  SO, it was quite the morning!  Just another day in the life! 

Let me start off by saying something, and I am trying to say this as delicately as I can, because I don't want to hurt of offend anyone, or have anyone lash out at me ESPECIALLY people that care as much as I do about animals - I am and have always been sensitive.  Here goes:  If you do not feel I am doing enough for the cats I feed, then maybe you shouldn't be reading my blog.  Many people can offer suggestions, and maybe mention how I might benefit with certain methods of trapping, but thats not what I need.  I could trap and trap, if I didn't have a full (and a half) time job, and too many numerous other situations in my life that I must attend to daily that I do not need to explain to anyone.  What I do need is time.  I need help by others.  But until I get more time, or more help, I will continue to do what I have been doing, and not feel bad about it.  I fill hungry bellies, I rescue TONS of cats and find them homes, I have found many many pregnant cats and taken them off the street, to be neutered, and their babies neutered.  I feel very bad when someone criticizes me that I should have been neutering cats 15 years ago when I started to feed cats, and then wouldn't have as many today.  I have very limited resources, and very little time to trap, neuter and pay for this all on my own.  Its a huge undertaking to TNR by myself, and I've done it many times, and will do it again, but for now, if you would like to offer anything other than opinion, your help and donations would be better.  As I have said before, you need to walk in my shoes to know what my life is about.  I am only one person.  I am only in one tiny corner - one speck of this earth.  In an ideal world, I would be independantly wealthy, would spend my days trapping and neutering and bring cats to my shelter I would have built, but its not happening at the moment.  Thank you for listening!

They Sure Must Love You.

That is what one of Rochester's finest said to me this morning as I was bending down to place food in the bowls for five very hungry kitties on the corner, under the tree.  I pulled up upon a sad scene, it was around 6 am., and there was an ambulance and several officers were there helping the ambulance crew load a woman on a stretcher into the back of the ambulance.  You could hear the woman softly crying.  I could feel tears welling up so I tried to ignore it and get on with what I was there for.  The woman was whisked off, and two officers came over to talk.  Really nice men.  They just thought what I was doing was great.  They asked me how long I had been doing it (15+ years), who funded it (my meager paychecks), and where I fed (within a two mile diameter, about 15 different locations).  I did tell them first off "no, I am not a crazy person".  :)  Little do they know.

At one location, there are now five new older kittens.  Where did they come from?  And at another, there was a raccoon AND an opossum!  Whats up with that?  I didn't know these two groups could come together in harmony like that!

It was rainy this morning, my brain is getting into gear on sheltering these animals.  Someone has offered to take two cats from corner mentioned above, and I still haven't heard anything from Miss B. about the kittens.  I pray she is still coming home by bus in the mornings from the transient motel she is staying at to feed whatever is left inside her home besides the roaches - which hopefully are the two kittens and one other black kitty she calls Midnight Star.  I am going to try to rescue Allie.  He needs to find a real home.  He is getting scared of people again out there.  I feel so bad for him.

Another thing I want to mention is what a wonderful group of people I have in my life right now.  There are people in my life that are actually contributing small donations to me and it means the world to me.  I know things are tough for everyone and for someone to give of themselves either monetary or food is so unselfish.  I thank every one of you who have ever donated, or who will donate in the future.  You will be rewarded in one way or another, and I hope someday in some way I can do the same for you.  Thank you!

Shoulda Coulda Woulda PART TWO

“I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.”  E.B. White

That quote was provided by a wise old friend.  Thanks old friend - :) - its so true though.  As I sit there at 4:30 am. sipping on my coffee, eyeing the television that has the news on, contemplating the thought of having to go out into the darkness, to jeopardize my safety in these 'bad' parts of town, to stop and feed cats at least 15 places - I just wish I didn't have to do it.  I just wish I could go back to bed and dream a little dream - to not have to worry about the hunger that is waiting for me - to be able to sleep in on a Sunday morning...  I thought to myself, if only I could leave double or triple the amount of food I usually do, then maybe I could take a break for JUST ONE DAY.  Then I think of how much money it costs to buy what I already do in dry food - and how I wouldn't be able to pay a bill if I doubled that amount of food that week.  IF only I had more donations, then I might be able to contemplate that thought... of taking a break for JUST ONE DAY.

The title of the post was appropos for me today AGAIN because as I was at my third spot, when I was on the porch of an abandoned house, with one cat circling around me, and the other trying to, anxiously waiting for me to feed them, I heard the faint cry of a kitten.  Sure enough, there was a teeny tiny baby out by the street.  Of course it wouldn't come near me, but I thought, if only I had help trapping and getting these cats neutered out here.  There are too many having babies, too many.  It makes me sick.  But I am just one person.  I am not getting help in doing this, and I just can't do it alone.  I've done it, but its so hard for me to do alone.  It involves trapping - transportation - releasing, but there is a lot in between there.  Lots of emotions, and ethical dilemmas involved.  I need to get more people to adopt or foster some of these babies out there.  I need help.

Shoulda Woulda Coulda

Sometimes, when I a driving home after feeding at the very last spot, at least three cats there, and six cats at the spot just before it,  I think I should be doing more, should have done more, could have done more.  And then I realize that I know I 'can't save them all', but as a wise friend has told me often 'but we can save one at a time'.  I was saddened to see the two baby baby kittens at Paul's house on Second.  Two very tiny kittens, probably no more than 7 weeks old.  It was dark, and I thought I saw something that looked like a cat on his porch, and it wasn't moving so I thought it might be dead, and as I shined my little flashlight on it, it was two kittens sitting there, and then they scurried off.  Then there is Red, who has moved down the street because of what I believe is traumatization after being attacked by Big Red on the street over one morning.  Big Red still hangs out at Hayward, sometimes moving over to Garson, and Big Red is sick.  He has obviously had numerous scrapes with his compadres out there.  He had a huge wound on his head over the summer, which has cleared up, but he needs to be either rescued and treated, or brought to the shelter to be put out of his misery.  And then there is Emma, and her baby boy Rufus - who's sisters JuJu and Nikki were adopted less than a month or so ago.  I hate the thought of this little baby going through our winter season.  If he even survives.  If only I had a shelter I could take all these kitties to.  If only more people would help me find homes for them.  If only.....................................  Today I share with you a picture of a sweet little boy Dylan, my girlfriend's boy - Babies - humans and animals - are so so precious... 

Sunny Sunday!

What a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky!  What a weekend its been too.  My dog was skunked early Saturday morning!  It was TERRIBLE!  Still is!  Went to let him out at 3 am. (!!!) onto the porch so he could go out into the back - I leave the porch door open year round for a cat that is homeless in the neighborhood in case of storms, etc., and he is there every morning for his morning wet food treat sitting on the porch - and I open the door, the skunk was right there, Thunder started to go after him, out the door the skunk went but not before he let out a huge plume of oily, disgusting skunk spray!  I have never ever smelled anything so putrid.  So, after removing everything off the porch, and repainting the floor with two coats of porch paint, the smell is still there.  And Thunder still stinks.  Must get him into a groomer pronto.  I tried using some human hair shampoo - he was sprayed in the face mainly - so using the solutions I googled wouldnt' work because you are not supposed to get it in the eyes, and it would naturally happen if I tried that.  And the tomato juice bath was just too much for me to think about, so now, poor Thunder will not be nuzzled by me, or kissed for quite a long time.  He will have to get his hair cut and shampooed, hopefully this week.  Emergency appointment!  On another note, I tried to rescue Allie this morning.  Put him in my carrier, and did not latch it properly!  He Ran!  and Ran!  And Ran!  I really spooked him, but I am sure I can gain his trust back again.  This is one of 6 cats on that corner that have NO shelter, that I must find homes for.  Miss B, just a few houses down, is staying at a transient hotel in downtown, and supposedly is coming home by bus each morning to feed the two kittens she has inside her roach infested house.  She tells me she might have someone be taking them, and I can't reach her.  Once I do, I will figure out what to do with these two sweet kittens, one Siamese and the other a fluffball.  This woman cannot care for them, and I do feel bad for her.  What a thing to face, being evicted because your house is roach infested.  She swore to me at one point that she cleaned all the time.   I was in her house, and it was a little cluttered, but thats the way this neighborhood is, very poor, and people don't have the means to keep their places nice.  I must just focus on rescuing the animals.  And help when I can with the humans!

Is it Friday yet?

God what a week.  And what a weekend it will be.  Between work, and going to my mother's house twice a day to look after her two cats while she is on vacation for two weeks - she adopted two adult kitties I rescued last winter - she renamed them Gracie and Biffer - and going out in the morning like I do, my life is so busy and chaotic.  As I've said before, if I didn't have my health, there would be some very hungry and lonely cats around.  I had a phone call from Miss B yesterday.  Actually she called me a few days ago and left me a voice mail on my cell phone but this is a new phone and I still don't know how it works - very technically challenged, that I am.  I could not even get her number from the call.  Anyways, finally talked, and this woman told me that she had to leave her house because its roach infested.  She asked me for help with her cats.  What a predicament to put me in.  As if there aren't enough cats that need homes, now she has two kittens that I have asked her to keep indoors because they are not neutered yet, and there are six each morning, three are her 'outdoor' cats, that are waiting for me under the tree for me to feed at the corner on her street.  They all need homes too.  Miss B is a very poor woman, and is going to be staying 'temporarily' in a very rundown motel in the heart of downtown Rochester, The Cadillac Hotel.  Its where the bums and drug addicts go.  Of course I feel for her, but what about the cats. I put out an all points bulletin to all my peeps on e-mail and had a small handful of people offer help.  God really does have angels on this earth, seriously, with all the homeless animals, and fostering these people do already, and they are willing to step in to help.  Its just amazing, and so so humbling.  Thank you to every person who offers to help those in need.  You will be rewarded some day, truly.

My Sweet Babies!

Thats how I greet the groups of kitties I see in the morning - I say "Hello my sweet babies!".  And they are in GROUPS, most of them.  So many out there waiting for me.  It was MISERABLE this morning.  The rain was just steady.  I actually put on a VERY BRIGHT yellow rain slicker my mother bought me last year - the fabric being the kind like a cheap plastic table cloth you use for outdoor picnic tables, and it wound up being more of a hindrance than a helper - it must have gotten stuck in my car door a million times - of course I am in and out of my car in an hour span of time at least 30 times each morning, so it was very inconvenient.  At one point it ripped as I was walking away from the car after getting it caught in the door.  Oh well, at least my hair looks halfway decent for a morning of rain.  Two out-of-the-ordinary things happened this morning that I will tell you about.  One is that the the first spot I go to, where I rescued little Timmy, and where I place food and water on a porch of what seems to be an abandoned house, had a cat food box, and a large container with remnants of dry cat food in it when I arrived there.  It also had a large plate of something unidentifiable, and it had a bowl of what looked like it was milk, and another dish next to it of an unidentifiable substance at the bottom of the steps leading up to the porch.  So SOMEONE is compassionate, and is feeding the cats.  Not quite sure of their choice of food, besides the real cat food, but there is stuff there that I don't quite understand.  I do hope its not poison, as I also did not see any cats there this morning like I always do.  This is also where I have seen two baby feral kittens running around.  Onto my next stops, in the pouring rain, and picking up soaked towels, which is not a fun thing to do.  Where I feed cats at the back of a lot on Bay Street, where Wilburt has allowed me to set up lean to's and a hut that my friend Kristin and her students built, because he told me he owned the property, someone had taken my very heavy lean to's, and my hut, and my bowls, straw and blanket, and moved them away from this building that they were leaning against.  These boards were huge and heavy and I think total anger is what gave me the strength to drag them BACK to the building, but let me tell you it was a STRUGGLE.  What a thing to be doing at 5 am., bitching quietly at who ever had the heart, or the heartless person, to do this.  I have had it there for years now, and all of the sudden, they want it moved?  And I thought Wilburt owned this property.  I must get over there during the day and find out if it is the business owner that the building must belong to.  Although there is a fence that he would have to walk all the way around the corner and onto Wilbert's property to move my stuff.  People can be so mean!

Hopelessness

Thats how I feel today.  I have felt this before all too often, but not all the time thank God.  Just today - probably because I got my hopes up in believing someone might have been interested in adopting Allie from the street.  I found out that person is not interested.  Allie is there every morning and I try to give him a calming presence while I am there, but there are four other cats vying for attention and food and they swat at him, and I just don't want Allie to turn out scared, or to have him missing one day.  I must get him off the street and into a good home.  I saw little Rufus this morning, he was there with his mommy Emma.  He looks nothing like his sisters I rescued JuJu and Nikki.  He is a black and white furball.  I will get his picture as soon as I can figure out how to get the flash to work on my camera, as its so dark out in the mornings!

These days, I’m more likely to feel hopeless than sad, more likely to feel as if nothing is ever enough, as if nothing really makes a difference, as if our whole human civilization is unraveling and there is nothing I or anyone can do about it. It’s a different feeling from sadness.  I found the following and want to share on my blog today - I hope you get a feeling of worth - if you've ever felt like I do sometimes - after you read this, like I just did.  This is truly inspiring:

We Are Their Heroes

If you worry that you have not made a difference, you have, for only those who do not worry about it have not.

If you feel overwhelmed, if the weight of problems is too heavy to bear, remember it is a shared burden and the strength of numbers can accomplish much.

If you think society and government are blind, it only serves to remind that we need to change one mind at a time, one law after another. We effect change by cooperation, not by isolation.

If you consider that we cannot save them all, and what difference does one make, you ought to know the joy of the one who is saved.

Mourn those we cannot save, it is a eulogy to their being. Do not let their loss be in vain.

Be kind to yourself, remember your needs and those of your family and friends of every species. Strive to be happy and healthy. You are needed.

Achieving balance in life is a lifelong struggle. We who help those who do not have all that they need should be among the most grateful for what we have.

Be proud of your accomplishments, not your opinions.

The quality of your efforts is more important than the quantity.

Forgive your own deficiencies - sometimes your caring is sufficient.

Everyone can do something, it is up to you to do the thing you can.

A kind word and a gentle touch can change a life.

If anger wells up within you, because people are the problem, remember your humanity and that people are also the solution.

Concentrate on specific needs, pay attention to the individual - they make up the whole. See beyond the unlovable, the unattractive, the impure and the wounded - see that their spirit is as deserving as the rest. Help them heal.  Their eyes are windows to their soul and the mirror of your sincerity.

All species, all beings, share this Earth in a chain of life. Care more about what makes us alike than what separates us.

Policies, rules and regulations are not infallible. Apply them judiciously, interpret them wisely.

No decision based purely on money is ever the right one.
Listen to your heart. Sometimes we have to do that which we are most afraid of.  Be true to yourself and your beliefs.

Family may abandon you, friends may disappoint you, strangers will ridicule you.  People shun what they do not understand.  Help them to understand - kindly, softly, gently.

Those who do not respect all life are to be pitied.  Often the wrongdoer is as in need of help as his victims.
Forgive, then teach by example.  Educate yourself or you cannot hope to teach others.

No action based in hatred is ever right and anger drowns out wisdom.  Yours may be a voice crying in the wilderness, make it a voice to be respected.

Listen more than you talk, be courteous and reliable.  Learn to ask for help. Never waiver from the truth.

Know that it takes a lot of strength to cry, and with every defeat, we learn.

All Creation celebrates that which is in its own best interest.

The Children are our hope - nurture them.

Nature is our legacy - protect it.

The Animals are our brethren - learn from them.

Your rewards will not be material, but they will be meaningful, and the courage of your convictions can survive anything.

We are small boats cast adrift on a cruel sea, but someday the tide will turn toward a safe harbor.

No matter how dark the storm clouds, or deep the pain of heartbreak - never forget:

We are their heroes.

Trouble

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. ~Edward Everett Hale


Thats such a positive statement, one I have to reaffirm every day.  Its such a struggle to get out there, but once I do, it goes along until I am done.  Its going to be very hard this winter.  I also have not seen baby Rufus in days now.  His Mamma, Emma, waits each morning for me, but where is Rufus.  Rufus is the brother of the two sisters I rescued weeks ago, JuJu and Nikki.  He was the one that got away, or shall I say, I could not catch.  He has been missing for days now.  I hope he is OK, or that it was a painless ending for him.  I also look at my own cats at home.  Trouble, who is diabetic and its been pretty uncontrolled for years now, and she is suffering the ravages of it.  She is a good girl who was left behind after her 'owners' left her, just a block away from my house, and one day after letting her into my home, I looked behind my couch and thought I saw her with a mouse.  Turned out it was a newborn baby she just had!  I was shocked, never knowing she was pregnant!
 
Most of us have experienced the sadness and pain of watching an animal we love start to go downhill. For some it may happen very quickly, and for others it could be an illness spanning months, maybe years. There may come a point where we have to make one of the most difficult decisions of our lives: whether to euthanize our baby, or let nature take its course and hope that the end comes quickly and without prolonged suffering.

The decision to let your animal die, or to let him or her live and suffer, is a heavy burden to bear, but one I believe we all accept when we agree to care for an animal. We are lucky that we have animals in our lives. I never take for granted that I share my life with my DOG Thunder and my many cats, and I am always in awe of them and happy to share what I have with them. I believe that we make a pact with an animal the moment we decide to care for him or her. We agree to offer food and water, provide comfortable living conditions, and care for them in sickness and in health. We have a duty to prevent them from suffering.

Anybody who has had to make the decision is familiar with the emotions that follow euthanasia, the most common one being guilt. To choose to end a life has often left me feeling like I have betrayed my companion. Guilt is a normal feeling, and its always difficult to accept the decision to end a life.
But part of loving someone is the obligation to help when things get hard.  So I hope my baby Trouble will let me know when its her time.

Sorry, got off on a rant there - it was quiet, yet windy this morning, all the babies were out waiting for me.  Supoposed to storm later today and tonight.  I must find them shelter.  I must find Allie a home, he is such a good boy.  I must get more shelters to put up for the upcoming days.

Sunny Saturday!

Its a beautiful day out there.  It started in the hood, all my babies were there waiting for me.  Afterwards, I had a good friend stop by before heading out for my Saturday grocery shopping and to Mom's, who is on vacation, to give some love to her kitties.  Cheryl surprised me with a couple bags of cat food!  I cannot express how grateful I feel when I get a donation like that.  I get paid every other week, and this is not the other, so money is very tight.  The homeless cat food costs about $100 every single week.  So two bags really helps, as I go through six a week.  So thank you Cheryl for your thoughtfulness.  Other friends have done the same from time to time, and I am so grateful to all of you for your kindness.  I am starting to bring little things, like soft towels, and even this morning a covered litter box someone gave me to be used as a warm shelter under a lean to.  I need to start making things cozy for all my strays out there.  Its getting to be fall, and that means cold.  I need more shelters for these cats.  I just don't have enough.  I need to pick up a bale of straw as this is good stuff to nestle into on a very cold day.  I found someone on the streets placed a dead fish in one of my shelters, so that ruined all the straw inside so I need to replace.  Mean people.  This picture was taken this morning at my last stop, near Miss B's house.  This is who is waiting for me every single morning under the tree.  If you click on the pic, you can zoom it a bit.  Have a great weekend!

Then I saw Heaven opened, and behold, a white horse. Revelations19:11

The soul is the same in all living creatures, although the body of each is different.--Hippocrates

Very nice, and so very true.  Out on my route this morning at 4:45 a.m. (yes, very early, I am off schedule due to circumstances of work and my mother being away for two weeks - I am looking after her cats - so must get my day started earlier).  Just after my first stop, there was something up ahead in the road that I dreaded because I knew what it was.  Another dead cat.  These poor animals that get hit.  It must have happened not too long before I found him.  I did my usual.  Found a nice soft clean towel, wrapped him, picked him up, and brought him to a nice spot in the grass.  I know his soul has left his body and is up in heaven, so I know I did was OK to do.  I wouldn't care for myself either, because I know my soul will be in heaven when it happens to me.  Well, not get hit by a car I hope!  But from old age maybe? 

Do animals go to heaven, I've often wondered this.  I did a little reading, and found this:

Ecclesiastes 3:18-21 TEV)"I decided that God is testing us, to show us that we are no better than animals. After all, the same fate awaits man and animals alike. One dies just like the other. They are the same kind of creature. A human being is no better off than an animal, because life has no meaning for either. They are both going to the same place -- the dust. They both came from it; they will both go back to it. How can anyone be sure that a man's spirit goes upward while an animal's spirit goes down into the ground?"

My Best Friends

Yes, some of my best friends have tails.

Animals have taught me so much. They insisted that I get past sad experiences I've had with animals, and open my heart to a depth of love that I never thought I could know. They’ve given me hours of fun. They’ve shared their sadness and illnesses with me, as i have shared mine, for sure!, and have allowed me to heal them.  I notice that whenever I am down or sad, my kitty friends make every effort to cheer me up or at least to let me know that they care.

I’ve also come to know God through them. Sometimes, when God seems very far away, all I have to do is reach over and pet a tail or massage a furry head, and there he is. I have learned that each animal in his or her own way represents an aspect of God’s goodness.

I think it was Khalil Gibran who said that work was love made visible. I believe that pets are God made visible.

Gloomy Day....... but GOOD!

I believe we should always try to turn a negative into a positive, so there.  Despite the fourth day in a row of cloudy, rainy weather, its a good day because its another day I wasn't sick, I wasn't lame, I wasn't dead.  I am healthy enough to wake, hear the rain, dread the route I must take to feed all the cats, feed hungry cats, and be grateful after I am done.   Life is still good.

I am now seriously thinking of rescuing Allie off the street.  I had Allie neutered through Habitat for Cats many weeks ago, and had to let him back out the next morning as I just can't take in any more cats, certainly couldn't then because I stilll had the two little ones I had rescued and was fostering, JuJu and Nikki.  But this boy is there under the tree waiting for me each and every day, rain or shine, and he is hungry.  He is such a sweet boy.  There were five kitties under the tree this morning, two of which are neutered.  Miss B claims they are all hers except for Allie.  I must find him a home, and get him off the street before something happens to him.  I will find his picture and post.  He is completely updated on his shots, and is just waiting to find a warm dry spot to cuddle up in.  He deserves this. 

Speaking of Miss B, these cats that wait under the tree for me act as if they are starving, so I don't know what she is feeding them, if at all.  I dropped a bag of food off for her, and litter, as she told me last week when I brought 'Midnight Star' back to her after being neutered that she didn't have either.  I gave her a 16 pound bag of Dad's cat food.  I go through 16 pounds each day feeding these cats.  One whole bag.  It costs me a fortune, and half of that is probably eaten by raccoons.  What a life I lead...

What I Do (in a nutshell)

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not.  ~Dr. Seuss

I thought I would give a brief summation of my spots and what I encounter on a normal daily day.  I leave the house now at 5:30 a.m. hoping that at least half my last half of my route is dimly lit by the dawn's early light.  On mornings that it has rained the night before, I have my seat next to me stacked with dry towels.  My first stop is a corner house that is unoccupied.  By unoccupied, I mean half boarded up, and an open window with a curtain blowing in the breeze on the porch.  I have been seeing two or three kittens here, they are around 10-12 weeks old, and I see at least three adults each morning.  I lay down paper plates of food, and fill the water bowl.  My second stop is just around the corner and I place food and water down for usually two cats, but three were there this morning, on the sidewalk, but under a house porch if its raining.  My third stop is down the street where I feed Poppi - a sweet tortoise that lets me touch the tip of her nose - and usually another red or white cat.  I place down a bowl of food here and water, but know there are raccoons lurking nearby at this spot.  My next stop is around the corner at an abandoned house where I actually moved feeding spots to the house across the road because of the raccoons there.   Three (raccoons) to be exact.  I feed three cats at this location every morning, where they are waiting for me on the railing.  Then down the street to the location where the neighbors helped me move my hut from one property to the other.  There are four kitties there waiting for me.  Three black and white, the other I can't tell as its still too dark.  The next location is around the corner where there are maybe 8 cats waiting.  One actually runs up and jumps on the door jamb when I open the door.  He wants a pat, and wants to be fed!  I go behind the house there where the owner has given me permission, and depending on if there are raccoons there, I place as much food as I can and water, under boards I have leaning against the house, and in the igloo.  I have just recently seen three kittens, maybe four or five weeks out now.  Their mother was one of the pregnant cats I could not get there.  She was missing for a month, and obviously gave birth to these babies.  I leave there after trying to fill all of those bellies, and drive by one of the spots I've already placed food down to make sure the racoons didn't cross the street to eat the food.  I then go to the next spot (this one I go to three times a week due to not seeing who is eating, raccoon or feral cats) and place down food and water behind a very large board against a building.  I have a hut settled in here too.  A nice Jamaican man named Wilbert allows me t0 feed here.  I then go to the next spot, where there are more raccoons, yes, they were there this morning.  I feed maybe four to five cats here.  This the location where they come to the road to greet me and follow me to the back of the dark lot like the Pied Piper.  I place food and water down here, behind boards that are leaning against a garage from the street behind.  I also place down dry towels at this location, as it gets soaked after the rains.  Then onto what I now call Part B of my morning route.  (HAVE I LOST YOU YET?)  I cross over to another neighborhood and onto my first spot where Red resides.  I feed him, and three others, two of which are very sick, and change the towel there where I have a lean to.  Then down the street is where Emma, the mommy I had fixed a few weeks ago, and her only other baby - I rescued her other two girls and have just had adopted BOTH to a new home yesterday.  I call this third unrescued kitten Rufus (thank you my sweet niece Brenna who named him).   I place food and water down on an abandoned house's porch - this spot is unsheltered - and off to the next spot on the next street.  Here I feed around 3 cats on the porch of an abandoned house.  Then to the next street where I feed "Miss B's cats" (uh huh....) under a tree.  Three I had neutered, but one is still waiting.   I must figure out a plan for this crew before snow falls.  Then to my last spot where I feed a variety of kitties from everywhere, with two little bowls of food and a bowl of water under a tree.  There is a beautiful red fluffy kitten there, about 13 weeks old.  And thats that.  By now, I breathe a sigh of relief that I have fed a lot of hungry empty bellies.  And I go home to clean up my car, clean up wet towels, and clean up me.   So, has anyone counted how many spots I go to, and how many cats I've fed?  I still haven't counted.  I would be overwhelmed if I knew.

Talk about FATE

That was a very lame title.  I feel so out of touch with my blog.  Its been FOUR days since I've writtten to you my dear sweet Blog!  I have had a very busy four days since last Thursday, yet have been so lazy electronically.  I clean, I cook, I eat, I clean, I cook, I eat.  Thats all I've done!  For my 'fans' who don't know me, I love to cook, I love to try a new recipe on a weekly basis if I am able, I love to garden (pull weeds), harvest my tomatoes, basil and cucumbers.  Made an awesome simple pasta sauce with garlic, onions, pureed tomatoes (mine from my garden) and my basil.  It was FANTASTIC.  I love to read, and love my wine!  OK, thats enough of that, I have so much to tell about the kitties.  GUESS WHO GOT ADOPTED!  The two kittens, Nikki and Juju!  The story goes, I was walking my doggie a few streets over to Wendy's house, the woman house that adopted Timmy, my little bow-legged boy I rescued, to give her his vet papers, and she was also walking her little bow-legged dog Herbie (is that a match made in heaven?), but she was with another woman too.  We got to talking about the kittens somehow (go figure), and the woman said she would be interested, and we walked back to my house and she met them and adopted them on the spot!  How unbelieveable is that?  If it had been five minutes later, or five minutes earlier, this never would have happened.  I am SO grateful to Wendy AND to this woman Sherry.   To open their home, and their lives, to a new pet is just such a generous and unselfish thing to do.   I just wish there were more people like them, because there are so many out there that literally follow me to the car practically begging me to find them a home.  Allie, for instance, was neutered last week and spent the night in my bathroom, and I had to let him back out.  He has NO ONE.  He lives on the corner under a tree where the other ones I've neutered are, but they are sort of taken care of by Miss B. who lives a few houses down from that corner, and who I have had contact with this weekend also.   She is willing to let me place a board/lean-to against her house for Allie for the bad weather days -
I brought her a bag of food and some litter, AND a bowl of homemade soup I had made this past Friday, so she really likes me.  The other kitties can come into her house apparently, but not Allie.  He is a beautiful long haired pretty boy.  Likes to be held and cuddled.  His photo is posted previously from a few days ago.   I told Miss B she must leave the kittens in her house until they can be spayed or neutered.  She didn't think they could get pregnant that young, but I assured her they can, and I've seen it with my own eyes.  I hope she takes my advice.  I am overwhelmed as it is with the number of cats I am feeding now, and the food it takes to feed them is getting overwhelming to me also.  I am running out of money, and time in the mornings.  I am simply burnt out, and hope there is a light at the end of this very dark tunnel.  Attached is picture of Wally, a little kitten that needs a home desperately.

Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down

This morning, as I was heading out of the house around 5:10 a.m., I heard rain hitting the awning over my porch door, and then heard the rumblings from a distant clap of thunder.  I hurried, but knew I wouldn't be able to beat the storm.  Lets just say I was pretty wet by the time I got home.  I feared being struck by lightening, as there was plenty of it.  Most of you wouldn't know that because at 5 am., you were snug under your covers dreaming of log cabins in the woods or something or other...  I am keeping one of the cats at my house for the day.   Its one I had neutered yesterday, had every intention of returning it to its location, but its very young, has stitches on her belly, and didn't seem to be doing all that great.  I thought she deserved one night on a nice comfy blanket with all the food she wanted to eat.  This morning when I checked on her, she hadn't eaten much, and what she did eat she had thrown up.   So with the rain, and her not feeling well, I am keeping her in for the day.  I did leave a note for Miss B, the older woman who claims they are her cats (but yet they are out there in storms, waiting under the tree every single morning, unneutered, and starving.  I left her a note to call me so that I could tell her about the cat, and hoping to ask her if I can set up some sort of shelter for the cats at her house.  She wound up calling me, and agreed to have me come over with the little kitty and I could show her my idea for a shelter outside of her house, which is just a few houses down from the corner where I've been feeding these four cats all summer now.  There is one left to get spayed.  Anyways, boy can I make a short story long... !   I will bring kitty to her house when I get home from work today.  Yesterday I released the other kitty, a male, to his spot when I got home from work.  There were many people around, and I made it a point to speak to a few to let them know I was not there dumping a cat, like so many people do.  I explained what I do, and what I was doing, and they really seemed touched by what I was doing.  So touched, I even had a guy ask me if I was single, telling me I was 'fine'.  hee hee.  This morning, that same cat was there waiting for me.  I was glad to see him.  You wonder sometimes if they are so freaked out they won't come back.  I am attaching a picture of the little kitty I have at my house right now, she is a precious little thing, and I hope I am doing the right thing by bringing her back to the 'hood'.  My two kittens I am fostering also returned from being spayed yesterday.  They seem to be doing quite well also!  But I need to get them adopted because my own brood are quite jealous of these youngsters!  I found this picture on a blog of a cyber friend of mine, she is a very talented author, and she posts great information.  This is a book full of fashion for cats that is adorable.  I love the pictures!  I am sure my cats would not be too amused, but then again, some of them might, like my Cosmo, who will let me do just about anything to him!