Life

I hurt someone's feelings yesterday with my post.  The woman that took Howard is actually a very kind woman, and I sometimes say things about people in general, not realizing that someone may take it personally, and it may upset them.  When I know I've hurt someone's feelings, I can't tell you the deep depth of sadness I go into, because an animal lover is an animal lover, a compassionate human being, and I would never ever want to hurt their feelings - God, there are so few good people in this world compared to all the mean, the twisted and uncompassionate.  I know its frustrating for her to deal with these cats, and I know her main concern is for Howard, believing that he is in a situation that he may be very unhappy in - being tormented by a sister cat.  So I vented my frustrations about people giving up in general, and I shouldn't have done that, somehow thinking she might take it to heart.  I should have just explained the situation and asked for all the help I/she could get, instead of venting my frustrations toward her, when it was really meant in general.  All I can say is that I I certainly don't want hurt anyone, but my main concern is and always will be to be in the best interest of the cat.   Reading her note to me yesterday made me cry, and she told me point blank she wouldn't be giving the cat back because she loved him, and knowing she probably won't contact me again, I have to move on and pray that all turns out well for her family, and that I will continue to have faith in those that adopt cats from me, or from any rescue organization, and that they will never give up in giving the best possible forever home for that animal, no matter what.

This morning, as I was pouring food and water for the kitties on Second, I heard a tap tap tap on a window a couple of houses down and realized it was someone knocking on the window of the bootleggers house, to get their fix for the morning.  The bootleggers sells anything from beer and cigarettes, to God knows what else.  As I got back into my car parked on the street, I could tell it was a very tall slender very young female.  She darted away after the window closed, and around the corner.  I had to go that way anyway, and I parked at my next stop, in the direction she was heading.  I got out as she crossed the street, and remembered her from two summers ago where I had the confrontation with the people on Grand Avenue, neighbors of when Wally was living there, when I was forced to feed the cats on the side of the road, and she kept threatening to lift them up the second I left.  She was another one that made me cry.   And when I did that, she came back over to me and apologized.  Sincerely.  She said she had been angry at her boyfriend, had been drinking, and took it out on me.  She told me about how she loved cats, and that what I was doing was a good thing.  I will have to find the post from that day and share it with you.  Anyways, here she was, two years later, and obviously once again doing the wrong thing. 

Just prior to this, I saw Seven, the prostitute that I've known for years, the one that two summers ago I called the police on her (unbeknownst to her) when she was very far into her pregnancy because she was drunk out of her mind and being loud walking on Bay Street at 5:30 in the morning, and I was sick for that child in her belly.  I thought maybe there was a law about being that drunk when you are that pregnant.  Anyways, that baby in her belly is now close to two years old, and his name is Walter, a cute little boy, I see her strolling him around occasionally at 5:30 am. in the hood.  I can only pray he is being looked after.  She asked for a ride to a few streets away, and when she got in, she was barely coherent.  She wreaked of booze and cigarettes, and could barely keep her eyes open.  I thought to myself, after seeing the second girl --- these poor women.  Aren't they tired of doing things like this over and over and over again.  Don't they want to get out of their ruts, their horrible lives, and be good mothers, good citizens?  How could I help them?  I helped Wally and Miss B., to a certain extent, but I don't have the time or knowhow as to how to help women like that.  I know Seven needs a rehab, but how do people with nothing get something like that?  Its sad, thats all I can say.  Very very sad.  And another generation grows up in desperate poverty.

Sorry for the downer today.  This is just some of the stuff that I deal with but I have a ton of optimism in me and will not falter!  Carpe-diem!

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come.

We have only today. Let us begin.”