My boy Barney, who I rescued from the streets two very cold, snowy winters ago, went to heaven today. He had stopped eating this weekend, I didn't know what was wrong with him. When I brought him into the vet at noon today, he wasn't moving. After the doctor looked into his mouth, smelled the odor of urine, she was very certain it was kidney failure. After we agreed what would be best for him, she left the room, and as we waited for her to return with the syringe, I petted his sweet course grey fur, softly comforting him, just the two of us, and he took his last breath there and then. As heartbreaking as it always is, I would do it all over again to ease the suffering of a cat on the street. I am so thankful I had the chance to love him. This is how it was for him before I made the decision to get him off the street.
I found this perfect poem - so sweet. Just like my Barney.
God's Garden
God looked around His garden
And He found an empty place
He then looked down upon the earth
And saw your precious face
He put His arms around you
And lifted you to rest;
God' s Garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering
He knew you were in pain
He knew you'd never ever
Get well on earth again.
So He closed your weary eyelids
And whispered " Peace be thine "
Then He took you up to Heaven
With Hands so gentle and kind.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you
The day God welcomed you home.
Oh Janine. My heart is breaking for you. Rest in peace sweet Barney. He was blessed the day you came into his life. He is an angel now, and you were his angel here on earth. He knew love and kindness because of you. I know he was special to you. Bless you both.
ReplyDelete-Kristin
Janine,
ReplyDeleteI feel so badly for you. First Benny, then Cosmo, and now Barney -- all in a row. Wow, that hurts.
I suppose some of this is that the cats we love so dearly all had rough starts on the streets and heaven knows what sorts of poisons, diseases, mold, carcinogens, etc. they encountered while on the street.
Years ago on a frigid winter night I watched a battered red tom watching a car idling at the side of the street. When the car pulled out the cat darted out to drink the snow melted by the heat of the car's engine, along with the dirty oil and anti-freeze. This is a fine example of how clever these guys are at survival, but also of the nasty stuff they can inadvertently ingest in that pursuit.
I was able to catch that guy a week or so later and within days he was one of the most loving and grateful cats we'd ever rescued. After getting him back in shape, we had just lined up a forever home for him when one morning we couldn't find him. Puddles of bile filled vomit gave away his hiding spot in the basement. After spending two days at the vet we had to put him down, purring and kneading until he drifted off. We never knew precisely what went wrong but it appeared to be a combination of nasty things. Apparently the reprieve from the cold, the food and water and, I think, the love, gave him the extra burst of whatever he needed to live for those two precious months before his illness got the best of him.
As devastating as this was for us, I'm so grateful that that sweet, sweet boy knew love, kindness and warmth at the end of his life and didn't die alone, under a crumbling porch on a freezing winter night.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that all of these little lives are finite. Loving them, particularly the unloved, battered strays, means we will know more death and suffering than most. It's miserable but I suppose it's the cost we accept when we do the work we do. Our reward is the minutes, days and when we're lucky, years, of love and the companionship of these extra special little lives.
Jeanne and I are both thinking of you and our hearts are with you. I'll be hugging my tattered old AIDS tom extra hard tonight.
Brad
So sorry Janine. YOu gave Barney a wonderful life and showed him love. You are truly a special person! I wish there were more of you in the world. Thinking of you! Rose from Syracuse.
ReplyDeleteOh, Mama Bean, I'm so very sorry! That's just not fair to lose so much in such a short time. Barney looks like he was a very happy, well-loved kitty. Thank you for rescuing Barney and giving him a wonderful last two years. I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteJ.
ReplyDeleteI have been trying for a day to find the words. But words are not enough. Barney did know your love and you loved him.Without you-he would have not even known that truth. My heart crys with yours.
Alan