Pros and Cons

As I drove to all my spots this morning, I started to think about the pros and cons of what I am doing. I started to think about what if this, and what if that. If I didn't do what I've been doing for too many years to count, my life would be so much safer, and simpler. I would have an extra $5200 a year from buying the food each week, I would be able to sleep past 5 am. each and every day, my car would be in better shape, my washer and dryer would last a lot longer than what they are doing now - breaking down - from washing all the wet and frozen dirty towels, I would probably be in my dream home due to the savings I would have for a down payment, in the country, with a large barn attached for the animals I would still try to save, I would be able to go on a vacation worry free, without having to ask my family and friends to come cat sit, I would be able to go on vacation without having to worry that the cats I feed would starve without my going there each morning, my credit card bill wouldn't be so high as I wouldn't have to charge for the care of new cats I rescue, and for my own brood, which wouldn't be as many as I have now because I've rescued them all, and my house would be a little easier to clean on clean day Saturdays.

Then I think about what it would be like if I did quit cold turkey today. All the animals that depend on me. How sad. Benny (pictured), Boo, Red, and Smokey too, just to name a few. As much as people who don't know better can say "oh, they will survive, they will find birds and garbage to live" - these animals I've been feeding have been used to one square meal a day. And the towels I provide them, along with the rickety shelter, are lifesaving for them. What would they do? How would they survive?

A woman I met through Dewey's rescue a couple of weeks ago wanted to 'shadow' me the other morning in hopes that she might be able to help me out occasionally. She actually came over to my house at 5:30 in the morning to come with me on my 'rounds'. I was thrilled. Well, by the time we got back, she admitted to me she didn't think she could do what I do, and declined. She said she would be too scared to go into the neighborhoods I feed in. And thats OK. I was scared to do what I do initially also, but I've gotten used to these neighborhoods, and I know whats safe and whats not. Its not for everyone. I just wish I could get a break once in a while. Until I can figure this out, I continue to dread doing what I do just until I get to my first stop, and then after that it becomes so rewarding to me. These cats love me for coming to their rescue each morning, to provide them basic life sustaining necessities - food, shelter and water.